dreams

"when you're so lonely, lying in bed
the night's closed its eye but you can't close your head
everyone's sleeping all through the house
you wish you could dream but forgot to somehow."
-Lullaby (Jack Johnson)

lately i've been having trouble sleeping. i've been having bad dreams that keep me tossing and turning and awake at every hour. what is it about this time of year that makes me so restless? maybe it's the thought that this time next year i'll have graduated already, still without a plan. maybe i'll rent in la for awhile to get my act together, find a job, make some money, then move to new york. where am i going to rent? what am i going to do? i wish i could sleep and dream well so i could be that hope/ambition filled little girl i used to be. i don't remember when that part of me died, but i think that is what i am searching for again...that passion, that fire, that innocence, that will to want to do something great, even if it does seem impossible.

"i would fall asleep only in hopes of dreaming...
but reality comes crashing to the floor"
-Blind (Lifehouse)