a sea of questions

i've been thinking a lot about the future lately, especially because of the new year. i'm going to be 21 in 7 days and counting. this is a landmark year in my life. i'll be graduating at the end of this year and moving on to do bigger and better things. in what ways can i improve myself? i ask myself this question everyday. on this road of life...where am i going? what path do i take? am i strong enough to handle all the obstacles that come my way? is this really the way to go?

"don't tell me that you cry

in your sleep each night
don't say you spend each hour
wondering what isn't right
do you stare into the mirror
thinking what is it you should change?"
-Don't Tell me You Do (Rockapella)

my mom's been having anxiety over everything lately, she hates driving, she's scared to sleep for a whole day because she thinks she might not wake up. the question here is how do i help her? what can i do to help her with these problems? do i live at home and give up my own dreams for her after college until i can figure out what to do? should i be bound by guilt and responsibility? or be selfish and leave, never looking back.

not only this, but i wonder what the new year has to bring for me. will i fall in love this year? will i get my heart broken? will i break someone's heart? how will my school year go? what should i do my thesis on? what if i can't graduate? will i ever fall in love? what am i going to do with my life?

it swarms and drowns me, this sea of questions. my face filled with worry, my heart filled with pain, and my mind filled with thoughts of inevitable questions that we all ask ourselves as some point in our lives. how is my life going to turn out? what are the consequences of my decisions? is this the right thing to do? i am drowning in the ocean...can someone give me something stable to hold on to?

Work like you don't need the money;
dance like no one is watching;
sing like no one is listening;
love like you've never been hurt;
and live life every day as if it were your last.
-Old Irish Proverb