or hate to love...
haven't you encountered those people in your life that you love to hate, every part of you wants to punch them when the thought of them enters your head but if you were to ever see them, you almost instantaneously change your mind. you hate yourself because you know it's the ones that you'll never get over. the ones you'll never be able to forget. those are the ones you hate to love. i can think of a few on the top of my list right now because of a dream i had last night that made me cringe when i woke up because i knew it would linger in my brain for days until something else replaces it.
i seriously have to stop partying on the weekends. one, i'm poor. two, i have work at 8am. three, my liver is going to be severely damaged. four, my lack of sleep is killing me. five, i have to finish my thesis and start my paper for soc 180. the nights are taking a toll on me. i'm so tired right now because i came home at 3. shoveled some food in my mouth and went to bed. now i'm at work regretting even going last night because seriously...it just starts to eat away at you piece by piece. i'd rather be in the music scene than the club scene i think because at least i can rock out and enjoy the music. it's about the music and not about the guys. the only thing that matters is that feeling of complete immersion, all your worries drowned by the sound of the pounding bass. it is probably good that i go back to la. i might have a police dispatcher job available. that would be cool. yesterday was fun though, screaming songs on karaoke revolution and hanging out with christal, christina, and anna. i just hope she's not mad at me. :-/ i really shouldn't have gone last night. i feel like death now.
bartenders are amazing...i don't think i'm going to be able to keep up.
haven't you encountered those people in your life that you love to hate, every part of you wants to punch them when the thought of them enters your head but if you were to ever see them, you almost instantaneously change your mind. you hate yourself because you know it's the ones that you'll never get over. the ones you'll never be able to forget. those are the ones you hate to love. i can think of a few on the top of my list right now because of a dream i had last night that made me cringe when i woke up because i knew it would linger in my brain for days until something else replaces it.
i seriously have to stop partying on the weekends. one, i'm poor. two, i have work at 8am. three, my liver is going to be severely damaged. four, my lack of sleep is killing me. five, i have to finish my thesis and start my paper for soc 180. the nights are taking a toll on me. i'm so tired right now because i came home at 3. shoveled some food in my mouth and went to bed. now i'm at work regretting even going last night because seriously...it just starts to eat away at you piece by piece. i'd rather be in the music scene than the club scene i think because at least i can rock out and enjoy the music. it's about the music and not about the guys. the only thing that matters is that feeling of complete immersion, all your worries drowned by the sound of the pounding bass. it is probably good that i go back to la. i might have a police dispatcher job available. that would be cool. yesterday was fun though, screaming songs on karaoke revolution and hanging out with christal, christina, and anna. i just hope she's not mad at me. :-/ i really shouldn't have gone last night. i feel like death now.
bartenders are amazing...i don't think i'm going to be able to keep up.
" Wake in a sweat again
Another day's been laid to waste
In my disgrace
Stuck in my head again
Feels like I'll never leave this place
There's no escape
I'm my own worst enemy
I've given up...
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say?
Take this all away
I'm suffocating!
Tell me what the f**k is wrong with me!
I don't know what to take
Thought I was focused but I'm scared
I'm not prepared
I hyperventilate
Looking for help somehow somewhere
And no one cares"
-Given Up (Linkin Park)
Another day's been laid to waste
In my disgrace
Stuck in my head again
Feels like I'll never leave this place
There's no escape
I'm my own worst enemy
I've given up...
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say?
Take this all away
I'm suffocating!
Tell me what the f**k is wrong with me!
I don't know what to take
Thought I was focused but I'm scared
I'm not prepared
I hyperventilate
Looking for help somehow somewhere
And no one cares"
-Given Up (Linkin Park)
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