an inspirational title

you spend a certain amount of time around people, you get your heart b r o k e.
treachery, hypocrisy, the promise of love.
look into the mouth of a person and you'll find l i e s wriggling there like maggots waiting to grow wings.
the world has gone mad.
a man could kill from sunup to sunset and still his work would NEVER be done.

happiness

it's amazing isn't it?:

"there are two types of guys in this world, the ones that hold your hand and the ones that fuck you." -Samantha (Sex and the City)

i'm assuming that the ones that make you happy...are the ones that hold your hand.

浪人情歌

나는 그에게 차였어요. this is what i spent my valentines day doing...reading about rape on a plane eating southwest heart shaped chocolate and listening to my ipod shuffle.

"不要再想你, 不要再愛你

讓時間悄悄的飛逝
抹去我倆的回憶
對於你的名字, 從今不會再提起
不再讓悲傷, 將我心佔據
讓它隨風去, 讓它無痕跡
所有快樂悲傷所有過去通通都拋去
心中想的念的盼的望的不會再是你
不願再承受, 要把你忘記
我會擦去我不小心滴下的淚水
還會裝做一切都無所謂
將你和我的愛情全部敲碎
再將它通通趕出我受傷的心扉"

is there hope for the faithless?

i think that having too much spare time on my hands makes me feel like i'm drowning in my own thoughts. i feel lonely and depression begins to creep over me. i want friends outside of my circle but when i look through my phone i realize that there really isn't anyone i would call in a heartbeat. i am no longer angry, i don't think about certain people, i just think about my own life and how fast everything is coming. i let the rain wash over me like a cold shower and let the music drown out all the thoughts. i'd like to be happy again, i'd like to be giddy and mean it when i smile. i want to believe that there is something good in the world for me and that eventually i will find it. i want to have faith in myself, my friends and my religion but each passing day has made it harder to do.

"i wake up it's a bad dream
no one on my side
i was fighting
but i feel too tired
to be fighting
guess i'm not the fighting kind"
-A Bad Dream (Keane)

just hold my hand

i'd like to meet someone who doesn't mind slowing down and just sitting on the swings with me

"slow down everyone
you're moving too fast
frames can't catch you
when you're moving like that."
-Inaudible Melodies (Jack Johnson)

graduation day

so it's my third year at cal and i'm graduating in august. how scary is that? i pushed up my graduation because i realized i'm tired of all the midterms, term papers, finals, and stress that school puts on me. i might be ready for the real world. i'm gonna take 14 units this summer (it's like academic suicide) korean (10 units) and my thesis class (4 units) hopefully i'll be well along with my research to write something substantial before otherwise i will not be graduating.

my plan for after school is:

move back to LA, find a career/job, live at home and save money, then move to new york on my merry little way to being a full blown adult. eeep how scary! but life never turns out the way we plan. i might enjoy my job and stay in LA but still move out because there is NO WAY i want to stay at home. but bright side...my parents are getting me a car! yay! new car for graduating! i really need to just move on with my life and focus on the bigger picture. no more heart ache, no more playing stupid little games with boys. i just want to get out of here with the best education possible and be done with it.

since i have an extra 4 months from the fall then i can use that time and get my bartending license. then i'm gonna find some more little odd end jobs until i find a career. parents are sending me to taiwan to see the grandparents, gonna go play in china, japan, and korea in jan. wheeeee! this is starting to look like it might be worth it. now...who can i round up to go take this trip with me?