a home of my own

these last few days have been spent at my sister's. makes me really wonder whether i will ever have a life like that. she's got a nice 3 bedroom house, a husband, and 2 ridiculously cute dogs. i...what do i have? i have a very uncertain future ahead of me, no job, no real direction. but one day that is what i want. her shower is great, it's got strong water pressure, and thick nice towels. i'm a little sad because i am so far from that and there is still so much more i need to do before i could ever have that. i am a leaf in the wind getting blown away whatever direction life is taking me. so what direction is the wind coming from now? i have no idea but i hope it ends at a place where i can be content and eventually have my own thick towels, nice showers, cute dogs, and a husband that loves me. *sigh* anyway...enough rambling. i'm going to enjoy the rest of my time here.

"この月明かりの下　ひとり知れず
君の名前だけを呼んでいた
いつまでも未来をさがしてた
この光の中に..."
-月明かり (Rei Fu)

the beginning of the end...

inspired

who we meet and what we do define the experiences we gain and the lessons we learn in a lifetime. a single second could change the rest of our lives. i want to be inspired and i want to learn more from the world but i don't want to have to be evaluated in the process. life and school shouldn't be a chore, it should be something that you really want to do. i want to go out and experience life for everything it has to offer and be wise and learned. i want to be able to converse with people on multiple levels and learn everything i can from them. maybe someday someone i meet will be inspired by the things that i do and i can feel like i made some sort of a difference. an impact on the world in a small way. until then i can only chase my dreams and hope that i can be just a little bit wiser.

i really want to travel the world, and i think i want to be a professor someday...even if it means enduring grad school. right now i am like a leaf in the wind. waiting until the storm blows over.